Church – Calling it what it is


How refreshing to read about men and women of God telling the truth for a change – teaching citizens how to put on the best show so as to get and retain more church attendance. Like any other profession dedicating ones life into preaching requires knowledge and steadfastness.

Theology school in Kinshasa graduates from Dr Congo will get my business anytime because I know I will be entertained as their customer service is likely to be a lot better than some folks in Nigeria that thought anyone believed they were pastors, evangelist, Daddy, Rev (or all other titles too confusing to mention) because they were ‘called’ and it is their duty to drag us all to ‘heaven.’

Who isn’t called?

I have always loved bible stories, they are incredible. Especially those stories that it is impossible to imagine if you were from my part of the country like the tale of Moses leading Israelites through the Red Sea – that one got me.

To begin with the only open water I could think of was Isasa River that flows through Eiyentanle Village, a tale that there was a Baba Olodo (Father of the river) in it has been around from beginning of time. Tale such as this is one of the reasons most Yoruba don’t swim for the fear we will be gobbled up by the spirits.

Even if you imagined Isasa River in hundreds, you still are not close to what the actual Red Sea was. Visiting the Red Sea several years ago, I laughed a lot at myself and my many pastors of their description of the Red Sea and the Pyramids – God help me!

Say it as it is. The easiest job in Nigeria today is becoming a pastor or something like it. You entertain the public, worked hard to maintain your congregation so you deserved to own all the profit from it – not your fault the nation is messed up on how to tax its citizens appropriately.

You would get more people just sticking to the business part.