Whose wedding is it?


The above skit looks familiar so I sent a link to my sister.

A few years ago Deborah and I were chatting at late hour of the night so she confided in me about her wedding plan. She had a long checklist of what she wanted from her sisters. She then revealed how much she wanted our oldest sister to contribute – I nearly choked from laughing. “Why the list?” and “Why do you want to request that much from her” I asked. Deborah said the fact that she was the last born so deserved to be pampered on her wedding. To be pampered is true and I agree but to levy everyone with no thoughts to their primary responsibility is not only waste of time, it is ridiculous.

As we chatted on I reminded Deborah of our big sister’s wedding of 1989, she married very young at 25years old, worked for two years in the village after finishing her apprenticeship and I remember she spent quite a lot of her money on household items. By the time she decided to get married , she was independent. For her wedding, my parents did what they could, fed our guests, everyone was happy  the day turned out well.

Being 29 years old with a university degree only means something if you can make a living within the limited take-home pay you have.

Are you sure you Mama B should be levied for your wedding? She has a child at university and three in secondary school, even if she has this money tucked away, very likely she has plans for it. My oldest sister is quite shy, she is not the one to argue about how selfish the demand was. She’d show up on the day of the wedding rather than risk being put on the spot if she came a day earlier.

Deborah dropped the list, thank God, I had no clue what she wrote for me.

The paradox here is, in many cases that I have had to witness, most people who measure their big day against others’ success either don’t have a job or that their job could not afford the lifestyle they aspire to.

A note to add that Deborah had her wedding last year. It was a perfect day for the couple. Everyone contributed generously according to their ability without the pressure of being levied.

Thanks to Anne Kansiime for important reminder.

9 thoughts on “Whose wedding is it?

  1. The excuse grossly miss-used these days is: the whole family marries when one of their own weds…… I always tell the guys; If you can’t afford the sort of wedding you want then you’ve no business getting married, cause you also can’t afford the kind of marriage you will get.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i agree with you here.. Here in India as well, parents foot the bill. I have seen many youngsters, girls especially, satisfy their craving for designer gowns and dresses, destination weddings and what not using the pretext of weddings and other functions associated with it. The poor parents, wanting to give their babies a perfect wedding, end up footing the bill!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I see. So the whole family is sometimes footing the bill. Sometimes wedding plans get out of hand when reality gets lost. It’s just one day, then the rest of your life. A time to celebrate but not at the expense of someone else’s hardship.

        Liked by 1 person

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